Do you ever catch yourself complaining to anyone that will lend you an ear? Normally, your friends and family take the brunt of this mostly unconscious habit, however, if your work colleagues are also your friends then they might be experiencing a double dose of your vitriolic wrath.
We all enjoy a nice winge every once in a while but if you notice you’re pushing the extra mile with it then you might want to start looking a bit deeper into why you’re whining so much?
There are many reasons we enjoy venting our frustrations and it’s sometimes healthy to get our thoughts and feelings out in the open so we can work with them. Trusted friends and colleagues, not to mention family can often provide us a new outlook or perspective on our issues.
A telltale sign that we might be overdoing our complaining is when we use “they” as the top offender. As in, “They” always do this, “They” never know when to stop, or my personal favorite, “They” are creating this problem, not me.
The top three reasons we whine are:
- We feel helpless in dealing with an issue because we think it’s out of our control.
- We think we can get people on our side to see the challenge the same way we do and we want them to agree with our helplessness and maybe even attract some sympathy.
- We are in denial that we have a problem or issue and we don’t know for sure if we acknowledge and take ownership of it that we could actually have any effect on the outcome.
There are, of course, many other reasons we would rather complain about things then take ownership of them and we’re not helping anyone especially ourselves by participating in the blame game.
If you notice that you might be over participating in the “complain game” then I can suggest a few remedies.
- Try to pinpoint exactly where the responsibility lies.
- Conduct some research on who in your network and circle of influence might be able to offer some advice or possible solutions.
- Look for specific groups or organizations that can answer questions, give insights or share resources that could help you in your plight and/or fight.
And lastly, please remember that…
It’s OK to Whine… but not all the Time! DJK