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The Few that Do

Have you ever wondered why people can be so hypocritical? I know when I was much younger I used to.

I’ve been running my own company since I was 16 years old so I’ve had quite a bit of time to learn how to deal with people who promise one thing and commit to another. I could never understand how people could get away with this type of behavior but soon enough I came to realize that “like attracts like” and these people were able to not only get away with it but also thrive within their own environment.

Every type of behavior will attract followers that serve and propagate that behavior. What happens after we end up with bad dealings is we get wiser and learn not to go into business with these type of operators.

Some behavior clues include:

  • When people start their diatribe with “Ok, True story…”  Why would someone be compelled to say that unless they are normally telling “false stories”?
  • When people casually say, “I gotta be honest with you…” Why would someone need to start out engaging with you in a statement like that? Why?… (you should respond) Are you normally dishonest with me?
  • When people feel compelled to get you to agree with them. What’s that about? Why can’t I have my own opinion based on my own real life and business experience? Why do I need to agree with what you’re saying? Is it because you’re telling a story with half-truths?
  • When people like to have a meeting with “all their key people in attendance” and they know you’re attending the meeting on your own. I used to get intimidated by this situation but later learned to love meetings like this because I can be confident in wielding my truth, ethics, and morality in all discussions that can often be very intimidating to the other party if they are not planning on being honest.
  • When people try to use jargon and their persuasion skills to talk around the elephants in the room you can be rest assured they are trying to get you on board with their pre-planned unethical idea/s.

There are much more and this is not an exhaustive list. Please share your stories and feel free to add your personal experiences in dealing with these types of people. Let us know how you’ve learned to detect and deflect this unethical type of behavior. How quickly are you able to put up your BS antenna?  My comment section is just below this post for you to add your favorite examples.

What can you do about this? You can not bow down to these types of people. You must stand your ground and get done what you need to get done in an ethical way. Remember, these types of people are not strong deep down and will bend to your ethical stance. They normally display what I call “situational ethics”,  meaning that they will be unethical if you are but if you’re not a dishonest operator then they will just mold their ethics and subsequent behavior to yours so you can be sure to stand tough and do the right thing. Just don’t be surprised when they change the goal posts mid-deal. But you knew this might happen, so it’s great that you had your plan B strategy ready to go.

“If you have more than 5 people you can really count on in life and business then you are a very rich individual indeed.” DJ Kotarski

Dominic Kotarski is the author of international best-seller “The Making”. He writes, speaks, inspires, motivates and teaches on the most important aspects of your business including Sales, Coaching, Team-Building, People Management and Business Development. Get weekly access to his blog & training videos FREE by subscribing HERE! and when you sign up you will get Instant Access to his Sales Skills Training Video.

Dominic Kotarski

Dominic Kotarski is an author, coach, sales trainer and Founder of Sales Success Academy. He's personally inspired, coached, trained and managed thousands of salespeople and business owners in 11 different countries. You can find him in Vancouver, Canada where he lives, works, runs, ski's and spends most of his free time with his family.

This Post Has 4 Comments

  1. Nicole Kotarski Newcom

    How about those that start with”You will never believe what I heard, saw, etc! “. It’s always guaranteed to be a whopper of a story! We should never believe it! I enjoyed this article! ??

  2. Nice article! Now, I use the phrase “true story, believe it or not”- quite a bit. Why? Because I normally tell lies? Far from it! The truth is stranger than fiction at times- and that, I want to highlight. Plus, it makes for fun story telling! OK, now I’ve missed the boat here! You talk about business scenarios, I swayed away to social gatherings….the same?

    1. Hmmm, Christina you make a good point. You’re right, often time truth is stranger than fiction and you need to premise your story a bit. I think I’m more referring to be leary of people that use the phrase “true story” more than once within the same conversation; Business or social.

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