It’s so obvious and self-sabotaging when we pre-judge a person or a situation. How many opportunities for real connection and new experiences do we miss when we do this? In most cases we’re not even aware when we’re pre-judging because our self-filtering process is so automatic. Our thoughts are constantly measuring, comparing and often times criticizing while running constantly behind the scenes.
And it seems to get worse the older we get and the more we experience. Of course there was a time when we were more open to new people and new experiences. We learned, we grew; we experienced things and made new connections.
That time for most of us was when we first entered kindergarten or pre-school. Then when we went on to grade school for the first time, High school and off to University or our first real job. Maybe we had to move cities and change schools and make new friends.
Each time we learned and each time we grew, made new connections and built new relationships.
When and why did we stop making real connections and real rapport without judging the person and their apparent circumstances?
Do you catch yourself pre-judging, people, situations and events? Why do you think we do this? Have you noticed that you might be getting more and more critical? Have you noticed that you avoid certain people and certain situations because they make you feel uncomfortable or take you out of your comfort zone?
If so, it might serve you to start paying attention to your habits of thinking and relating to new people and situations. Once you become aware of your habits you will get excited again to make new connections and possibly expand your knowledge? Can you become more open to learning new things and learning what your new acquaintance might know?
Everyone has specialty knowledge about something. If you make it your goal to find out what that might be or what they might know that you don’t, then you could benefit greatly by making this new connection. Even though that shouldn’t and mustn’t be your ultimate goal if you are really striving to be non-judgmental. It could be good, it could be bad, it could be neutral but it will always be mutually worth it if you make a real human connection.
In sales and in business we must seek out new people and new situations in order to keep growing, learning and expanding our businesses.
We should all strive to get into the habit of making at least one new real connection every day. Here’s some tips to get us started and on track:
Tips For Making Lasting Connections
- Be aware of your normal way of behaving when you meet someone new. What is your default conversation mode?
- What kinds of questions are you asking in order to form linkages and rapport with your new acquaintance? Strive to ask open questions by starting with What, How or Why?
- Is there someone you know that you could introduce them to in order to make their life better or easier? Think of your whole network, neighbors, friends, family, extended family, friends of friends.
- Are you connecting people and bringing them together?
- When was the last time you brought together two of your connections that hadn’t yet met but you know could be powerful mutual alliances if only they were properly introduced?
- Have you helped anyone to increase his or her business this week?
The best way to go about doing this is to ask questions and become genuinely interested in creating common linkage between you, your network and the new contact. Jot down information about them after your meeting and write down how you might help them or who you could connect them to. Do it right after your meeting while it’s fresh on you mind.
Take on this way of connecting and remember when you judge another you are creating a barrier between you and the other. When you break down your judgments and just be your normal fun loving self rapport naturally happens. When you make a connection in this state you are coming from a higher place and this higher place also happens to be your peak learning and growing mode.
That’s how we got to be the amazing individual we are today in the first place. We need to be vigilant and keep our mind and hearts open to new connections and new opportunities. This is where true love of life, people and learning resides.
It’s our true self so let’s go there and stay there today and at least the rest of this week.
Let’s get connected by sharing with me your thoughts and experiences on this topic.
Dominic Kotarski author of “The Making” and Founder of SalesSuccessAcademy.com
[feature_box style=”3″ only_advanced=”There are no title options for the choosen style” alignment=”center”]
[/feature_box]
[optin_box style=”24″ alignment=”center” email_field=”email” email_default=”Enter your email address” integration_type=”mailchimp” double_optin=”Y” thank_you_page=”http://salessuccessacademy.com/thank-you/” list=”229aa74283″ name_field=”FNAME” name_default=”Enter your first name” name_required=”Y”][optin_box_field name=”headline”]Get Dominic’s Blog and Instant FREE Training[/optin_box_field][optin_box_field name=”paragraph”]PHA+TG9yZW0gaXBzdW0gZG9sb3Igc2l0IGFtZXQsIGNvbnNlY3RldHVyIGFkaXBpc2NpbmcgZWxpdC4gRG9uZWMgdmVsIG51bmMgbm9uIGxhY3VzIHZlbmVuYXRpcyBjb21tb2RvLjwvcD4K[/optin_box_field][optin_box_field name=”privacy”]We value your privacy and would never spam you[/optin_box_field][optin_box_field name=”top_color”]undefined[/optin_box_field][optin_box_button type=”0″ button_below=”Y”]Get Instant Access![/optin_box_button] [/optin_box]
