No matter how hard we try to hide it or deny it our emotions will always end up controlling the day. And our day’s will always be the building blocks of our lives. Therefore if we don’t learn to listen carefully and respectfully to our inner drives we will ultimately pay for our negligence over time.

The Big 2 – Thoughts & Emotions

We’re pretty much in control of our thoughts throughout our normal workday or at least we’re fairly aware of how much we’re thinking. Our emotions, on the other hand, are constantly working in the background controlling our knee jerk responses. In fact, our emotions are in constant ebb and flow throughout the day and they can be easily influenced by external stimuli like:

  • other people’s behaviour  – people not behaving in a suitable manner eg lack of manners, driving skills, etiquette, vocabulary
  • the post (property tax bills, phone bills, data use)
  • a dog doing their business in your front yard without their owner noticing
  • price increases, gas, electricity, food, Netflix
  • raccoons getting into your compost
  • loved one’s behavior – you know they aren’t listening even when they act like they are

What can we do about this? How can we harness this wonderful energy and use it to our advantage? Our E-motions can be converted into E=energy in motion. 

Probably the most effective, time-honored and proven method to take control of our emotional energy is to create a mental checklist with a gradient scale to determine the amount of high octane emotional energy we have at our immediate disposal.

The Big Five

All of us have five big areas in our life that we need to master in order to live a full life. In order to experience the full spectrum of all that life has to offer we must keep working on these five areas on a consistent basis. We can’t just focus all our effort and attention on one of these areas because the other areas will begin to suffer and eventually cause even bigger challenges. These areas are:

1. Time

2. Health – mental & physical

3. Relationships – family, work and societal

4. Finances – personal & business

5. Emotions – awareness of the full spectrum of feelings

What I’ve found helpful in times of stress is to create a mental picture of these five areas of my life or if I’m able to open my notes app or grab a good old fashioned paper and pen then I write out each of the big five and grade them on a scale of 1-to-5 for simplicity. (With 1 being “Excellent, I’m in full control” to 5 being “this area is completely out of my control at the moment.”)

I’ve discovered that once I scan through each of the broad categories of my current life and start to drill down on the areas that are at or below a score of 3 then I can easily make adjustments to my current situation which creates an immediate flow of positive energy to my chosen area of focus.

Once you can freely observe your overall situation and notice areas of improvement in your Big 5 then you can more easily learn to focus your attention on your more challenging areas and begin to direct the almighty power of your E-motions!

Dominic Kotarski is the author of international best-seller “The Making”. He writes, speaks, inspires, motivates and teaches the most important aspects of your business including Sales, Coaching, Team-Building, People Management, and Business Development. Get weekly access to his blog & training videos FREE by subscribing HERE! and when you sign up you will get Instant Access to his Sales Skills Training Video.


Dominic Kotarski
Dominic Kotarski

Dominic Kotarski is an author, coach, sales trainer and Founder of Sales Success Academy. He's personally inspired, coached, trained and managed thousands of salespeople and business owners in 11 different countries. You can find him in Vancouver, Canada where he lives, works, runs, ski's and spends most of his free time with his family.

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    2 replies to "Emotions in Check"

    • Laura E Seneker

      Dom, thank you for providing a concrete approach to emotions and energy! As I deal with Moma & Daddy’s health issues, I struggle with emotion, tact & multiple providers.

      • Dominic Kotarski

        Wow, Laura you’re dealing with a heavy load. All you can do is take one day at a time and pick your battles carefully. It’s never easy dealing with these situations but I’m sure you will get through this positively and tactfully.

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