When I was growing up spam was something my mom fed us when she would run out of other food in the pantry. I couldn’t bear to eat it cold but when she fried it up with some scrambled eggs. I was all over it.
Now spam means something completely different. (Time & Attention Waster)
How many Emails do you delete each day which are pure spam? There’s three types that I weed through daily.
1. Stupid Spam – This type of spam normally goes something like this. “Hi Mr. Sir, I’m a trustee from a big company overseas that would like to use your bank account to transfer millions of dollars and let you keep a cut.” Here’s my latest enticing invitation.
Good day,
My Names are Mrs. Zhang Chen Xiao a Chinese citizen based in Asia and an account officer for Angang Steel Company Limited for 18 years. Angang Steel Company Limited deals on Manufacturing of various steel in China and we also have a sales office in Hong Kong. I am in need of a trust worthy person that can help me move funds in the tune of $60,000,000.00 (Sixty Million USD). Our company will be folding up very soon and I need to move the above mentioned funds out of the companies account to a secured bank. This is 100% risk free and you will be entitled to 30% of the total funds upon completion. If interested please get back to me stating so for more details. Also provide me with the details below asap.
1. Full Names
2. Address
3. Country
4. Age
5. Telephone Numbers
6. OccupationPlease note only serious person needed.
Yours Sincerely,
Mrs. Zhang Chen Xiao
I’m so all over this like my momma’s spam and eggs!
2. Intelligent Spam – Usually from Linked in users that have paid for the pro version or are just using their 1 month free trial so they can offer their amazing services to me, my cherished contacts, my company, my organization, etc.
How do they know me? Well, I share a group with them, a contact with them, the english language with them.
Here’s an example of my latest “Special Invite”
We are colleagues from Coaches (Life, Business, Relationship, etc.) Support Group group, I was looking at your profile on Linkedin and I saw that you are International Consultant | Author | Coach | Trainer | Speaker & President at Sarcio Solutions Inc. and might be interested in a special invitation that we are making available to selected qualifying people. We would like to offer you a free trial of the PDA Psychometric Behavioural Assessment. Please do not forward this message to other people because this is a special limited invitation to selected Linkedin members of which you are one.
For those of you that read my blog regularly, especially on sales tips and techniques, you’ll recognize some pretty heavy “make-me-feel-special” rapport builders in that special spam invite.
And lastly there’s …
3. Just Plain Spam – This is the variety that’s in between stupid spam and intelligent spam. There might be some bad grammar or misspellings but the message is as clear as day. Contact them immediately so you can use their professional expert IT people to re-design your website and get MASSIVE traffic. Top of Google you’ll be. Oddly enough, I don’t think these spammers actually took the effort to check my rankings because with a name like mine I was top of google the day I purchased my domain name. And it is for this reason that I have labelled them in the “just plain ol’ spammers” column. Better ranking next time boys, just keep improving and honing your spamessage.
Here’s an example of my latest offering:
Hello,
I am representing a leading SEO Outsourcing company, based in India. We have team of over 170 Fulltime SEO professionals working on over 1000
Projects. We primarily work at SEO Reseller Model; having 150 business tie-ups all over the globe.
We are assisting our partners in following verticals:-
- SEO
- Off Page Submissions
- Website Designing & Programming
- SEO Back Office Work
We are also offering meaningful proportion of Discount at bulk projects as well as Re-seller benefits.
Ready to sign Non Disclosure Agreement (NDA) with SEO partners.
Please share your thoughts/interest.
We are looking for your Positive response.
Kind Regards,
Aadam Aarush
SEO Executive.
Note: we are not spammers and are against spamming of any kind. If you are not interested .then you can reply with a simple \”no\”,we will never contact you again.
By all means if you say you’re not a spammer then I guess that means you’re not a spammer. Oh! and by the way team Aadam Aarush the SEO Exec. I simply love the added “A’s” to your name, wonder what that extra “A” stands for?
Spam – Glorious Spam – used to have only one variety when I was growing up. I just checked out their corporate website and see they’ve added a few varieties since my childhood days. 19 to be exact with flavours including jalepeno, black pepper, garlic and for the more exotic they have Teriyaki, Tocino and Hickory Smoked.
Back in my day we would just add the extra flavouring to it ourselves. But I guess that’s the whole point of future generations being so dependent on spamergizers that they can’t think for themselves enough to add their own ingredients.
So now that I’ve got all these nice spammers contacting me with all these amazing deals I think I’ll just stop working with my team, creating my own content, visiting my clients. No need to strategize or plan my companies future either as I can just respond to all these amazing spamopportunities and sit back and watch my bank account soar.
Still Waiting!!! Oh!… there we go. I just got spammed and you?
Dominic Kotarski – International Consultant | Author | Coach | Trainer | Speaker
Dominic writes, speaks, inspires, motivates and teaches on the most important aspects of your business including Sales, Coaching, Team building, People Management and Business Development. Get weekly access to his blog & training videos FREE by subscribing HERE
